i wanna be a duggar

I think I want to be a Duggar. I have been watching 19 Kids and Counting and the Duggars are so nice. I mean they are just ridiculously nice. (I'm a sucker for nice.) It is really easy to look at people who have 19 kids (or more—I’m not even sure how many they’re up to at this point) and get all judge-y and worry about overpopulation and limited resources (I’m all green myself so I get it), or wondering if it is possible to care for that many children well, or fill in your objection here. But these people really have it together—their life is so mindfully constructed. They’re ultra-conservative and I’m ultra-liberal, but politics aside, I admire their mindfulness. And they are just so nice. Their life is simple and sweet. And, yes, perhaps they do need 11 shopping carriages at the supermarket and wash and dry 180 loads of laundry a week (WHAT?! I do 6 and I am whiny all over the place), but I just might trade in my social media and my fears of tweeting and my DVR and iPhone for their kind of simplicity. It’s like a convenient version of Little House on the Prairie without the failed crops and deadly childhood diseases and bear attacks.

Let me be clear: if I become a Duggar, I want to be one of the kids—I do not want to be the mom. 19 kids (or however many they’re up to at this point) is way too many kids to take care of. I have 3 and I only meant to have 2 and I am maxed-out. What I want to be is a Duggar child. If I were a Duggar child, I could just get in the supper-making assembly line and sleep in a nice bunk amidst all the other Duggar children. It’s just so cozy to imagine. And nice. Really really nice. They might not even notice I’m there if I am quiet and keep myself busy with laundry and cooking. I would, however, retain my belief in dinosaurs; I’d keep it on the DL so as not to upset the family dynamic.

I am genuinely surprised by how much I like the Duggars. I was prepared to think they’re totally weird. They are, but only in a different way from anyone else. It’s a mostly good weird. (Like most of us.)

I have a totally valid reason why I started watching this show and it is research, which I encourage you to do. You can pretty much do anything under the umbrella reason of “research.” But this is bona fide research. I have an idea for a new novel that includes a large family. Maybe not Duggar-large, but larger than average. Maybe 12 kids. So, you see, I must watch the Duggars. It’s professional, people. And if I try to infiltrate their brood, then it’s called “deep research.”

As I watch 19 Kids and Counting, progress on my new website continues. I am very excited about it! I'm still working away and am getting close to finishing it. Or Steve (not his real name) is. Whatever you think.

Here is a picture of me bossing him in my striped bossing pants:

Yes, I have bossing pants. All good wives have bossing pants. Hel-lo. See how he’s just typing away. Well, not typing—clicking and saving and moving things around in ways I could never understand. But I tell him where it all goes which is the really important part. I cannot understand what-all is taking him so long. I am telling him what to do in a timely, rapid manner. I am being as efficient as I can possibly be, people.

If I were a Duggar, I’ll bet at least a few of those kids could put their heads together and figure out Squarespace. Not that I don’t have faith in Steve (not his real name), but he’s only one person. Maybe we should have had more kids ...

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My novel, The Mosquito Hours, will be released in early May! Wanna stay up-to-date on news about it as well as have my latest blog posts conveniently delivered to your inbox? Then subscribe to my newsletter! Click on it right up top there on the right. See how easy I made that for you? (You’re welcome.)

diy extravaganza!

i am building a new website (or my husband is—you decide)

My memèré steals Lorna Doone cookies for me from the nursing home. Package upon package that she hides in little white plastic bags (also supplied by the nursing home) which she then hands off to my mother to deliver to me. I receive them in the dark of night. This is my stash:

Technically she is not stealing them—she is entitled to anything from the mobile snack cart any time it rolls by. I’m not sure this is what they intend, however, when they stock the Lorna Doones every morning. This pilfering began when I saw a package of them in her room and innocently mentioned how much I like them. (They are very satisfying with a cup of tea at the end of the day.) Even as much as I enjoy them, I do not encourage Mem in this little cookie mission. Although, neither do I encourage her to stop. Even if I tried, she cannot be stopped. A couple of years ago I asked her to save egg cartons for me so I could do a craft project with the kids. She got all her friends on it. Every old lady she knew in the city. It was a grassroots movement. A lot of eggs were consumed. Actually, no one really knows what happened to those eggs.

(I am still making crafts with egg cartons.)

Anyhow, I stay up and eat the Lorna Doones while trying to get everything done. They are very satisfying with trying to get everything done.

One of the things I have been trying to get done while I eat my Lorna Doones is build a new website. What I mean by build a new website is Steve (not his real name) is building me a new website and I am bossing him around. Also, it was my idea, which is really 99% of a thing anyhow. I would have done it myself, but even though the good people at Squarespace say it is ever-so easy to build a website with their product, for me it was not. It was ever-so baffling and brain-hurting. Which is not to say the good people at Squarespace are inaccurate in the assessment of their product, because Steve (not his real name) is doing just fine with it.

Here are some screenshots of the homepage so far:

Pretty, right?

(Totally.)

I wanted to be able to do a little more than a blog is capable of which is why I built this, with help from Steve (not his real name) who contributed about 1% toward the project. (Please see my math-ing above for clarification of this equation. It’s 100% accurate and most likely equals 100. Which is what makes it accurate, I am pretty certain. I am neither good at website building nor most math-ing. But I am honest to a fault which is how you know these things about me.) On my new website, I will have my blog feed, a page for book groups (yes, I DO participate in Skype or FaceTime talks with book groups!) and a page for my freelance editing services (yes, I DO edit manuscripts—and at a very reasonable rate). Also, a page dedicated to The Mosquito Hours. And there is plenty of room to grow.

Stay tuned for the big move over to my new URL—www.melissacorlissdelorenzo.com! It will be happening very soon!

I am hopeful that my Wordpress followers will subscribe to my blog feed over at my new website. I’ll continue to remind you wonderful followers of my impending move so that you will be sure not to miss any posts or crucial news that you might should you neglect to follow me at my new website. (You’re welcome.)

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My novel, The Mosquito Hours, will be released in early May! Wanna stay up-to-date on news about it as well as have my latest blog posts conveniently delivered to your inbox? Then subscribe to my newsletter! Click on it right up top there on the right. See how easy I made that for you? (You’re welcome.)

diy extravaganza!